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George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC
Dear Governor Bush:
So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the
day that "France and the rest of world have to show
their cards on the table." I'm glad to hear that this
day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya,
having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving,
I wasn't sure if I could take much more. So I'm glad
to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few
truths I would like to share with you:
1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio
nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to
war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House
and on to any street in America and try to find five
people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill
Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM! Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis
have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has
even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we
average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not
perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it
or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that
works!
2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never
elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass
distraction. We know what the real issues are that
affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with
I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a
half million jobs lost since you took office, the
stock market having become a cruel joke, no one
knowing if their retirement funds are going to be
there, gas now costs almost two dollars -- the list
goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this
go away. Only you need to go away for things to
improve.
3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have
to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam
Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush.
Count your fellow Americans among them.
4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a
SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have
now come out against you! How bad does it have to get
before you realize that you are an army of one on this
war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't
have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the
poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.
5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen.
Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or
daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to
stand up for America, please send your twin daughters
over to Kuwait right now and let them don their
chemical warfare suits. And let's see every member of
Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice
their kids for this war effort. What's that you say?
You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't
think so either!
6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some
royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can pretty damn
annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn't even have
this country known as America if it weren't for the
French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary
War that won it for us? That our greatest thinkers and
founding fathers -- Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin,
etc. -- spent many years in Paris where they refined
the concepts that lead to our Declaration of
Independence and our Constitution? That it was France
who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who
built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who
invented the movies? And now they are doing what only
a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about
yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French
and thank them for getting it right for once. You
know, you really should have travelled more (like
once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the
world has not only made you look stupid, it has
painted you into a corner you can't get out of.
Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go
through with this war, more than likely it will be
over soon because I'm guessing there aren't a lot of
Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect
Saddam Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will
enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone
loves a winner -- and who doesn't like to see a good
ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it 's
some third world ass!). So try your best to ride this
victory all the way to next year's election. Of
course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all
get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the
economy sink even further down the toilet!
But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few
days before the election! See, start thinking like
THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they got our
oil!!
Yours,
Michael Moore
http://www.michaelmoore.com
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