Limericks against Bush and Howard
Weapons of Mass Derision were deployed against the lying warmongers in the lead up to President Bush's flying visit to Australia on October 22-23, 2003. Here are the limericks made for the 'Don't Be Bush Whacked' hoedown at Prince Alfred Park, Sydney, on October 19.
Best placards display at 'Don't Be Bush Whacked!', Oct 19, 2003, Sydney
|
6.
When George was elected as President
On spurious votes - that's self-evident --
To cover his shame
He made war on Hussein
With excuses egregiously magniloquent
- -Bob Phillips, Belmont 2280
13.
George Bush , a President slight,
Has an IQ which possibly might,
Reach double figures
With cranial vigours,
And a large intellectual fight!
- -- Will Lobban, Summer Hill 2130
14.
Bush at Guantanamo Bay
Lets prisoners all have their say,
As long as they hide
Any truth from their side,
And agree to the "American Way"!
- -- Will Lobban, Summer Hill 2130.
16.
Cried George in the White House one day,
"Damn, my marbles have all gone astray!
By the time they got back,
I'd invaded Iraq.
What on earth can I possibly say?"
17.
There was a president from Texas
Who ate Sadaam Hussein for his breakfast
But while passing a stool
The silly old fool
Found John Howard was stuck up his rectus
18.
There once was a halfwitted Texan
Who managed to steal an election
He had a proclivity
For anything military
It helped him sustain an erection.
- --- Office of Meredith Burgmann
19.
There's a horrible hothead from Texas
Who's coming on Thursday to vex us
The message we'll hear
Is of terror and fear
More armies we need to protect us
22.
I reckon G Bush is real crass
You can't really rate him a gas
No message of love
On the wings of a dove
Just like it or you can eat ass
- ---- John Collis, Hornsby, NSW 2077
29.
The Axis of Evil said Bush
It is clear must be given the push
So with Howard and Blair
(such a charming wee pair)
I'll blow Iraq up with a whoosh
36.
the devil was coming down under
the people they rallied like thunder
the placards were flying
the people were crying
go home george this war is a blunder
37.
the president came to see John
they both had been terribly wrong
the two of them blew it
the people they knew it
twas time for them both to move on
49.
There was Bush, there was Powell and Rice
And Rumsfeld et al with advice
They saw money and oils - from the war as their spoils
Never counted lost lives in the price
50.
When those who now die in Iraq
Meet those who were under attack
That September day. Do you think they will say
'Let's give George a big pat on the back'?
51.
John Howard, young Blair and that Bush
Formed a cartel, a union, a 'push"
Now many are dead. And so sadly it's said
That they told their own experts to 'shush'.
53.
George Bush the second cried "War,
Will settle my Daddy's old score'
Well Sadam may have lost - but Iraq bears the cost."
But they're worse off than ever before.
64.
'Our surplus is gone !' screamed Costello
You blew it on that Yankie fellow
Said Johnny, 'Don't fret
He'll see us right yet
There's really no reason to bellow.
- - The North Family, Coogee.
65.
John simpered and trembled and shook
George reduced him to mush with one look
Then he patted John's head
Puffed his chest out and said:
'You know John, you're my kind of crook !'
- -- the North Family, Coogee
71.
Now we surely can't feel so dejected
At the thought of our country rejected
By the world, all-aghast
While we suck up Georgie's ar....
Just so Johnny can be re-elected...
76.
Says Bush to his head prefect, Blair..
'You and Howard can search over there.
HANDS OUT OF POCKETS!
Find me some rockets...
The bastards are hidden somewhere!'
77.
Says Bush, 'It's Iraqi skulduggery,
They are evil and cunning as buggery.'
So his troops he paraded,
He bombed and invaded
In an act of unparalleled thuggery.
78.
Said Bush, 'The Iraqi have hidden
Weapons that I have forbidden
And I'm Chief of Police.
In the name of world peace
I'll invade them...by George, I'm not kiddin'!'
79.
Johnny's bursting with anticipation
as his hero approaches our nation.
When he's feeling such pride,
how can some have the hide
to refuse George a standing ovation?
- --Ms Leslie Porter, Albury NSW 2640
80.
My mate, George and I just abhor
news of refugees, sheep or the poor.
Why not tell us we're great,
and we've set the world straight,
then leave us to plan our next war?
- --Ms Leslie Porter, Albury NSW 2640
81.
"Will you come to Iraq with us, friend,
It is part of a new global trend,
Follow me and you'll see,
That the world will be free,
(For us to exploit to the end!)".
82.
Young George, (who should have known better),
Sent Saddam a short bragging letter,
"Your WMD,
Are too tiny to see,
In Texas they're bigger and better!".
83.
"Saddam", said George, "you're a pain,
We will just have to bomb you again.",
So he sent the Marines,
To dig lots of latrines,
In the hope that they'd shit on Hussain.
88.
This alliance has one main ingredient:
A prime minister, small and obedient,
Who presents his bare arse ter
His powerful master
Any time, any place it's expedient
1.
There once was a Pres called 'Bush Two'
Who created a Middle East 'blue'
His Penchant for War
was extolled from the floor
While Howard and Co,
cheering from the word 'go'
made applauding compulsory too.
- --Mark Wright, Stanwell Tops NSW 2508
2.
The trade deal had sold us completely
The president tied it up neatly
We're owned by them now
Without even a row
John will deny it all meekly
3.
The pain of the world it was gnawing
The corporate jackals still clawing
With bastards like bush
Johns head stuck up his tush
We can no longer go on ignoring
4.
The time it is coming to wake up
This government needs a huge shake up
Its viscous and cruel
A one man band rule
To expel him is something to take up
5.
A stupid old man from Texas,
who helps cheat the world of its excess
by breaking some laws
and waging some wars,
now fights the general consensus.
7
When little John Howard met Bush
He was smitten, Oh Dear, what a crush
Said Johnny to George
If your arse is engorged
Just ask me dear George and I'll suck
- --Bob Phillips, Belmont 2280
8.
(A limerick for Lord of the Rings fans)
LORD OF THE BOMBS
This Bush Turkey's here from New York;
Of killing and war does he talk:
"I'm Sauron the Great,
Wizard Tony's my mate,
And Johnny's my grovelling orc."
- --Linda Green, Proud to be "Mob"
9.
There once was a Prez called Shrub
whose swagger revealed but a nub.
His trip Down Under
caused masses to chunder,
and long for old Moni and Bub*.
(*Monica Lewinsky and Bubba, i.e. the Clinton administration.)
10.
There once was a Prez called Dub-ya
whose bad guys had germs in a bunk-ah.
When asked to show where
cause they simply weren't there,
hopped back on his plane and said fuck-ya!
- --Marcos, Santa Catarina, Brasil (We're Down Under, too)
11.
There was an illegal President
Whose father had set a war precedent
"Go to battle to win
Even though it's a sin
And ensure America's omnipresent"
- --Judi Tucker, Forestville 2087
12.
When you think that you run the free world,
and your mind is all twisted and curled,
when your Dad was the same,
then just who is to blame,
as your halfwitted plans are unfurled?
15.
George Bush has stolen our John,
He took him just for a song,
They went all the way
Like some roll in the hay,
He came, and he went, weren't that long!
- --Will Lobban, Summer Hill 2130
23.
Now here's an alert on G Dubya
Be warned Simon Crean, he might rub ya
Stand up and applaud
With the rest of your horde
John Howard's OK, he will hug ya
24.
So Bush will enjoy his reception
Though half of the claps are deception
They'll rise from their seat
Or suffer the heat
Raw power demands no exception
25.
Soon Johnny will welcome his mate
Both Chambers will be there in State
We helped him invade
Destroy and degrade
Now he's coming to thank and inflate
- --John Collis, Hornsby, NSW 2077
26.
There once was a rich boy from Dallas
who had a very small phallus.
To make up for his lack,
he invaded Iraq
Still small but toxic with oil greed and malice.
- -Graeme Dunstane & John Brisbane
27.
A puppet, George Dubbya Shrub
Received two most horrible snubs
One from Bin Laden
Another from Saddam
So he bombed them!! Don't mess wirh George Dub.
28.
American President Shrub
Is in love with the thud of a scud
so he wanted a war to drop bombs galore
But it's terror we're fighting G'Dubb
30.
George Dubbya did cry yet again
Through bombs & through slaughter we'll win.
Saddam, & Bin Lad
Goddam they'll be dead,
Yet the killing continues in vain
31
There was a chap called George double oo
He wanted to get into a war mongering blue
He rattled his sabres
And enlisted his ravers
Trouble is that he involved me and you too.
32.
When Sheriff Bush rode into our town,
He was warned of a possible showdown
Where peaceniks get bossy
And send out a posse,
But all that he got was a hoedown.
33.
We've lost Roy and Jesse and Gene,
Buffalo Bill and Cheyenne.
But with George in the saddle
There's no fiddle-faddle
And Deputy John's on the scene.
34.
George Dubya's lovely wife, Laura,
Said, "I have to get rid of some flora."
The gard'ner asked, "Brazillian?"
George said, "Thanks a million!
- There's no bloody bush left, begorrah!"
- --Patricia Farrar, Lilyfield NSW 2040
35.
There was a "young" man named Bush
whose head was the same as his tush.
His rectum and brain
contained one and the same,
never short of manure: George Bush.
- --Dr Chris Cleirigh, Centre For Language & Literacy, UTS
38.
the president's time it was ending
while he ran around still defending
his toxic lies spewing
while trouble was brewing
fuck off george there'll be no more spending
39.
There once was a devil named Bush
Who was asking for someone to push
Him under a train
So that never again
Could he ruin our hope of world peace
- --Lara Cassar, Erskineville 2043
40.
"Coalition less Willing"
To Aussies its less than thrilling
with George W. "coalition less willing",
your war - axis, evil
causing global upheaval
and in neighbours resentment instilling.
- --Robert Lowe, East Ballina 2478
41.
There was an old terrorist called Bush
Whose aim it was to push
For a war on Iraq
To stab them in the back
and for all of us to say shush.
42.
There once was a president of the USA
Who would really like most of us to pass away
So he could rule the earth
With a great deal of mirth
And play with his weapons all day.
43.
A gun-toting Texan called Dubya
Will come by to tell Howard, 'I love ya.
And I'll swear you're my friend
While you kiss my rear end
But the minute it suits me, I'll shove ya.'
44.
(And, while not a Limerick:)
John Howard seeks to strut the stage
And stamp his mark on history's page.
But Dubya thinks our Aussie 'saviour'
Is a minor player by the name of Major.
45.
There was a young Texan named Bush
Who through to the White House did push
He invaded Iraq - clapped himself on the back
May he fall A over T on his tush.
46.
Ol' George is a smug clever man
He evaded the draft for Vietnam
Then with very small reason - declared open season
On Iraq, South Korea and Iran.
47.
I worry for George Bush's sanity
For his mighty and scary inanity
For this bloke sticks his nose - into war, not a rose
So much for our bleeding humanity.
48.
Georgie, Bush, not the Puddin' and Pie
Crushed Iraq from the land, sea and sky
The UN might return. How old Georgie must yearn
To pull out of this mess on a high.
52.
Georgie Porgie Puddins and Pies
Rigged elections, told big lies
Just to follow his Daddy. He's a little bit maddy
You can tell from that look in his eyes.
54.
Once there was a bad bloke called Saddam
Who fought with his neighbour Iran
The US paid his billing - encouraged the killing
Now they want to install their own man.
55.
Once Weapons were found in Iraq
Of the sort that might Mass an attack
And end in Destruction. The later construction?
Well, Bush pays his backers right back.
56.
There once was an expert called Kelly
Who said "What's this crap that Blair's selling
The stories are hype - and I'll wager my life"
And he lost; in a field; just for telling.
57.
For Afghans the Yanks went out looking
But Bush had an earlier booking
He went on attack - the real prize, was Iraq
Bin Laden this time not for hooking.
58.
Once George, the top man from the States
Played 'round with folk's fears and their hates
Of colour, of creed - and of word, and of deed
Well. He's got John and Tony for mates!
59.
There once was a president named Bush
Who should have been tossed out on his tush
But instead of getting the sack
He waged war on Iraq
And gave millions of protesters the push.
60.
President Bush it is clear is quite mad
Why else wage a war on Baghdad?
It got up the noses of Iraqis
Pissed off all of Saddam's lackeys
And now the situation's REALLY bad.
61.
When weapons of mass destruction aren't found
Bush says that it's clear they've just gone to ground
We'll mount an attack
Wage war on Iraq
And in making our point Baghdad we will pound.
- --Coralie Venus , UNSW, Independent Learning Centre
62.
There once was a rancher, a Texan resident,
For whom something became increasingly evident,
He mistakenly spotted bombs,
In the hands of Iraqis (not Yankees or Poms),
(What a fool!) How was he ever elected US president?
63.
There once was an ignorant Texan resident,
Who's cowboy mentality became global sentiment,
He declared, 'Use bombs to abolish bombs,
'Come join me Aussies and Poms!',
Who is this half-wit, you're asking? ...He's actually US president!
- --Karlene Hindmarsh, Panania NSW 2213
66.
'My wife and I just love your land
Especially in the palm of our hand !
You've shown yourself willing
To help in the killing
Keep up the good work - understand !'
67.
The MPs complained: 'We're at rest"
Little Johnny yelled: 'He's our guest
He's our God, do you hear
He inspires awe and fear
And this could be the ultimate test!'
68.
One sunny day on the hill
Sat John Howard, that well-known dill
'Oh George, you're so great
You inspire so much hate
And you really know how to kill!'
- -- the North Family, Coogee
69.
When George hits Australian soil
We'll welcome him like a Royal
No expense will we spare
We'll strip the vaults bare
Now doesn't that make you blood boil!
70.
George knocked at the door and he said:
'You there,John ?' but John was in bed.
Jeanette started screaming
John clung to the ceiling
So George climbed in the window instead.
- --The North Family, Coogee.
72.
See, George snr had never defected,
From the lure of his oil interests protected,
He called on his son,
George dublya, the gun,
To play with his toys, once elected.
73.
But young Georgie was feeling dejected,
Iraqi weapons were never detected,
So he sold us 'Free Trade',
And the chance to get laid,
Dumb Johnny thought that we were protected...
74.
His lying was all but perfected,
Johnny told us we'd be better affected,
We'll sell coke and wheat
And we'll just cop it sweet,
While Georgie's wee missile's projected
75.
(This one is written in language so as not to offend my 3 year old daughter and in a language that even George Bush Jnr. will be able to understand ....)
There once a nutter called Bushie...
who liked all his bombs to go whooshie
When he came to Australia
We all called him a failure
and sent him back home on his tooshie......
84.
There was a young chap from Texas,
Who said "Saddam, you sure vex us,
We are coming to see,
All your WMD",
But they soon found themselves in a nexus.
85.
To put paid to the terrorist threat
Bush landed the Yankees in debt,
since, to finance his 'war'
he needed much more
than the first budget sum he had set.
86.
Hans Blix under UN instruction
sought weapons of massive destruction.
But none could be found
in Iraq (on the ground).
What's more, there were none in production.
87.
Bush heads the American nation
though in doubt was his call to this station
for the vote was re-jigged
by a court that was rigged
yet he still wants a standing ovation.
89.
George Dubbaya's a strange Texas lad
Who's trying to out-do his dad.
He's destabilised the mid-east
And he's threatened world peace
Yet he says that Saddam is "BAD"!!
90.
George Dubbaya's a tall Texan dude
Who thinks that he's tough, cool and shrewd
He says: "Saddam is evil and must be removed"
"The UN's irrelevant and must be eschewed"
He's a living example of "West Texas Crude".
|
